I didn’t write about the night Benjamin struggled to breathe or the days we spent in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit or the incredibly stressful year that followed. I don’t know that I ever will, but I do want to write about how grateful I am to his practitioners for giving him the best integrative care and that he is optimized, strong and healthy.
We eventually took Judah out of preschool because he was bringing home too many bugs that were causing Ben to be in a constant state of severe respiratory distress. After a year of homeschooling Judah, he went back to preschool a month ago. Although I loved having him with me (well, most of the time), he was more than ready to go back and is beyond happy. He goes to a progressive preschool that focuses on social and emotional development and good old-fashioned play! I love that he gets this time before starting kindergarten in the Fall. It also gives me a chance to spend some one-on-one time with my sweet Benjamin.
I’m painfully aware of the misfortune and heartbreak in the world. I know things can always be worse. There’s a quote that has stayed with me since I first read it, “The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.” I was sitting down with Ben a few mornings ago and felt pure joy as he simply ate his breakfast. It’s easy to feel grateful when things are going our way. An exercise I use when I’m having a crummy day is to think about something I’m grateful for. I imagine what it would be like living without it. It can be anything -having a roof over my head, the sun, freedom of choosing the work I do, being alive… whatever comes to me in the moment. Closing my eyes, I go there in your mind. In this alternate universe, I truly experience what it would be like if what I’m grateful for wasn’t in my life. What would that look like, how would that feel? Opening my eyes, I come back to reality and have a deep feeling of gratitude for my blessings.