There are a lot of “must-have” lists and advertisements out there telling you what fancy new goodies and gadgets you need for a new baby. For the attachment parenting family, all you really need is a gentle, patient, loving parent or caregiver and a few basics. I have outlined the Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting below along with some tips and a small list of non-toxic and eco-friendly items that can enhance and support this philosophy and practice of parenting. Read more about my non-judgmental and personal take on attachment/natural/conscious parenting here.
Image © Gioia Albano
1. Preparing for Pregnancy and Birth
Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for healthcare providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible. Read more
Br sure to choose a pediatrician and professional care providers who are committed to upholding the principles of AP in their profession. Research them fully to ensure that they are the right fit for your family. Attachment Parenting International is currently getting the new AP-friendly Professionals Program underway. Professionals who join the Attachment Parenting International AP-friendly Professionals Program state that they support Attachment Parenting. A list of these providers can be found here. API is just beginning this program, so please check back often as more providers are entered.
J Bear at his two year well child visit. Image © Natureal Mom 2012
2. Feed with Love and Respect
Breastfeeding is the optimal way to satisfy an infant’s nutritional and emotional needs. “Bottle Nursing” adapts breastfeeding behaviors to bottle-feeding to help initiate a secure attachment. Follow the feeding cues for both infants and children, encouraging them to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Offer healthy food choices and model healthy eating behavior. Read more
Two wonderful breastfeeding books that I recommend to my clients are The Nursing Mother’s Companion and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Another great book for breastfeeding during pregnancy and beyond is Adventures in Tandem Nursing.
Some women are more comfortable nursing with a support pillow. I like the Organic Nesting Pillow. While it has a lofty price tag, I think it’s worth it because of the quality. It’s 100% organic, non-allergenic and filled with organic buckwheat hulls which shift around like a bean bag creating the perfect position unique to each mama and baby. The buckwheat hulls also allows air to circulate keeping both baby and mama cool and comfortable. Beware of toxic nursing pillows such as My Brest Friend. Although their website stated that they did not use fire retardants in their foam, the pillow was tested and contained two flame retardants, TDCPP and TCPP.
Motherlove Nipple Cream is a favorite amongst breastfeeding mamas. It has a zero toxins rating on EWG’s Skin Deep database and is made with 100% certified organic herbal ingredients that are safe for ingestion, so it does not need to be washed off prior to breastfeeding baby. It also makes a great lip balm!
I have tried many different nursing bras and finally found the beloved Bravado Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra. It’s buttery soft, super comfy and seamless, making it virtually invisible under clothing. Removable molded cups add an extra lining to hide nipples or breast pads (love these). Finding the right size is super easy and the bra stretches making it both a great maternity and nursing bra. The cups unclip at the shoulder and drop down and away from your body to give baby full access to your breast, providing you and your baby with skin-to-skin contact which is essential, especially when establishing a breastfeeding rhythm. The clips lie flat under close fitting clothing and easily open and close with one hand. They aren’t available in an organic fabric (yet) but an alternative is the Nummies Organic Cotton Everyday Nursing Bra.
3. Respond With Sensitivity
Build the foundation of trust and empathy beginning in infancy. Tune in to what your child is communicating to you, then respond consistently and appropriately. Babies cannot be expected to self-soothe, they need calm, loving, empathetic parents to help them learn to regulate their emotions. Respond sensitively to a child who is hurting or expressing strong emotion, and share in their joy. Read more
Image © Natureal Mom 2012
4. Use Nurturing Touch
Touch meets a baby’s needs for physical contact, affection, security, stimulation, and movement. Skin-to-skin contact is especially effective, such as during breastfeeding, bathing, or massage. Carrying or babywearing also meets this need while on the go. Hugs, snuggling, back rubs, massage, and physical play help meet this need in older children. Read more
There are so many types of baby carriers – from wraps to soft structured carriers and slings to mei-tei’s. Each mama has to try them out to see which one works best for her. My husband and I personally like the Boba 3G Baby Carrier. It’s suitable for newborns (without an insert), babies and toddlers. It’s simple to put on, take off, and adjust. Ergonomic design makes it comfortable and it’s also a good choice for taller parents. Breastfeeding in it is a cinch and there are removable foot straps for your babe to rest his or her feeties. This carrier has loads of other neat adjustments making it a great contender.
Hitting the trails in our Boba 3G. Image © Natureal Mom 2012
California Baby Calming Massage Oil is perfect for a gentle massage to help strengthen the bond between parent and child. Its delicate scent promotes a sense of relaxation and promotes a good night’s sleep. Made with high quality organic and sustainable oils that are non-greasy, baby’s skin is left satiny smooth. It also makes a nice massage oil for expectant bellies, bottoms and breasts.
There are lots of diapering (or undiapering) options with lots of options within each option. Cloth diapers come in different materials such as cotton, bamboo, and hemp. I adore these upcycled wool diaper covers. Check out The Real Diaper Association for more thorough information on cloth diapering. Hybrid diapers offer a more eco-friendly and non-toxic alternative to conventional disposable diapers. They combine the convenience of disposables coupled with reusable and cloth diapers covers. They make a good transitional diaper before committing to all cloth diapers. Hybrids offer the option of an outer shell that can be worn multiple times before washing with either a biodegradable disposable insert or a washable cloth insert.
Bum Boosa Bamboo Baby Wipes are another fave. These award-winning luxurious wipes are renewable, free of chemicals and toxins and contain organic aloe vera and calendula to soothe delicate skin. I also love the soft scent of lavender and sweet orange essential oils. I just scored a sweet deal on luckyvitamin.com ~ $4.19/pack, no tax and free shipping.
Earth Mama Angel Baby Angel Baby Bottom Balm is safe for cloth diapers and works well on existing diaper rash and protects against flare ups. The only balm made with organic olive oil infused with a blend of naturally antibacterial and anti-fungal organic herbs, shea butter and pure essential oils, this balm also soothes thrush, itchy bug bites, scrapes, chicken pox, minor rashes, and burns.
This soft and comfy Vegetable-Tanned High Pile Sheepskin Rug imparts warmth, comfort and security for your baby. Place the rug on the floor or changing table and use later as a a soft bedside or playroom rug.
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
Babies and children have needs at night just as they do during the day; from hunger, loneliness, and fear, to feeling too hot or too cold. They rely on parents to soothe them and help them regulate their intense emotions. Sleep training techniques can have detrimental physiological and psychological effects. Safe co-sleeping has benefits to both babies and parents. Read more
Image © Natureal Mom 2010
We started out with a co-sleeper and later transitioned to the family bed also known amongst friends and family as the MegaBed. We have King and Twin size non-toxic and organic Talalay latex mattresses pushed together on the floor as our little one likes to the “H” and “Snow Angel” as pictured below. Another neat option is the Humanity Family Sleeper.
Illustrations from www.howtobeadad.com
6. Provide Consistent and Loving Care
Babies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. If it becomes necessary, choose an alternate caregiver who has formed a bond with the child and who cares for him in a way that strengthens the attachment relationship. Keep schedules flexible, and minimize stress and fear during short separations. Read more
Upon returning home from attending a birth. Image © Natureal Mom 2013
7. Practice Positive Discipline
Positive discipline helps a child develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline and compassion for others. Discipline that is empathetic, loving, and respectful strengthens the connection between parent and child. Rather than reacting to behavior, discover the needs leading to the behavior. Communicate and craft solutions together while keeping everyone’s dignity intact. Read more
There a lot of wonderful books and resources for practicing positive discipline. In Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour, author Susan Perrow uses the power of storytelling to offer imaginative possibilities for transforming problematic behavior and situations with young children.
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
It is easier to be emotionally responsive when you feel in balance. Create a support network, set realistic goals, put people before things, and don’t be afraid to say “no.” Recognize individual needs within the family and meet them to the greatest extent possible without compromising your physical and emotional health. Be creative, have fun with parenting, and take time to care for yourself. Read more
Date nights are essential. Image © Natureal Mom 2012
It’s important to enjoy some quality adult time and nurture your relationships. A good breast pump will allow you to express milk for your babe while you are separated. Hygeia Breast Pumps are the only eco-friendly, WHO code compliant breast pumps that are also the only breast pump company to be endorsed by La Leche League International. All pump parts that come into contact with breast milk are BPA/DEHP free. Some insurance companies are now covering the cost of breast pumps.
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For further information, please check out:
The Mother magazine ~ for Dads too
Pathways to family wellness magazine
Mothering The Home for Natural Family Living
Recommended books and further reading